I can’t get out of this city. 
One by one my friends run afoul the law. 
I run myself crazy getting nothing done, 
don’t stop to sleep or help them out. 
 
Bruise inside left elbow from 
tapping outfit in after blood 
too often, it’s easiest there. 
My life inside the last line. 
 
Always the easiest way often, & 
wear short sleeves. Let them stare, 
be damned & drive on. I do what I want. 
For you I’d spill out on a table 
 
all I’ve kept clenched inside, 
betray my true nature with joy. 
Next Christmas Eve at quarter past noon 
I was born thirty-three years ago 
 
in Chico, California 
under Capricorn 
I cross swords with 
whenever I catch it shining 
 
out of my night, like now, 
typing this poem, at right angles to 
the straight line of my desire 
rolls out like a carpet, out 
 
where we touch, Marthe, 
I make you come so good 
you let go pleasures I claim my own, 
mine by birthright of relentless desire 
 
now in my throat like a fist 
with its knuckles growing white 
that makes every word I sing 
an ache in my balls without you. 
 
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